Liberate

Stumbled upon this while NOT studying for my exams and had to share it.
It might be long but give it a read.

Questions and Answers about Foreign Policy (and the U.S. Invasion of Iraq)

Q:Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A:Because they had weapons of mass destruction.
Q:But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A:That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.
Q:And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A:Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.
Q:But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A:That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.
Q:Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A:To use them in a war, silly.
Q:I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A:Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.
Q:That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?
A:It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.
Q:I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A:Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.
Q:And what was that?
A:Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.
Q:Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A:Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.
Q:Kind of like what they do in China?
A:Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.
Q:So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A:Right.
Q:Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A:For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.
Q:Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A:I told you, China is different.
Q:What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A:Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.
Q:Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A:No, just Cuban Communists are bad.
Q:How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A:Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.
Q:Like in Iraq?
A:Exactly.
Q:And like in China, too?
A:I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.
Q:How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A:Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.
Q:But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A:Don't be a smart-ass.
Q:I didn't think I was being one.
A:Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.
Q:Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A:I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.
Q:What's a military coup?
A:That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.
Q:Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A:You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.
Q:Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A:I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.
Q:Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A:Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.
Q:Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A:Because of what they did to us on September 11th.
Q:What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A:Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings in New York and Washington, killing 3,000 innocent people.
Q:So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A:Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.
Q:Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
A:Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.
Q:Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A:Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.
Q:Fighting drugs?
A:Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.
Q:How did they do such a good job?
A:Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.
Q:So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
A:Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.
Q:Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A:That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.
Q:Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A:No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.
Q:What's the difference?
A:The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.
Q:It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A:Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.
Q:But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
A:Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.
Q:Who trained them?
A:A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.
Q:Was he from Afghanistan?
A:Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.
Q:I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A:Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.
Q:Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
A:There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.
Q:So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?
A:Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.
Q:So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A:Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.
Q:Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
A:No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.
Q:But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A:Well, yeah. For a while.
Q:Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A:Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.
Q:Why did that make him our friend?
A:Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.
Q:Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A:Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.
Q:So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A:Most of the time, yes.
Q:And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A:Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.
Q:Why?
A:Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless unAmerican Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?
Q:I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A:Yes.
Q:But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A:Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.
Q:So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A:Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.
Q:Good night, Daddy.


From: http://tinyurl.com/yk76m7p

Turn The Page

So it’s been a while since my last post. Work has kept me pretty busy and the flow of creative juices has been diverted elsewhere (for some reason that came out a rather bit more messy than intended). All that being by-the-by it has been brought to my attention that most of my posts revolve around rants and/or have rather pessimistic undertones.

Undertones?…bah! who am i kidding? This blog has “half empty” written all over it. In some cases the existence of the glass itself is in question.

Either way, we reach my point. an overhaul is in the works. maybe I'll adopt a more optimistic approach. The brutality of the real world leaves no room for idealism. So, to usher in the new age i present to you:

Awesome how it’s in keeping with the whole ‘chicken’ theme ‘innit?

apart from that, i have, in an effort to prove to a friend that there is no word in the English language that rhymes with ‘orange’, discovered that, ironically, there is no rhyme for the word ‘music’.

Also that timeless classic “Summer of ‘69” by Bryan Adams does not tell of a particular season of a particular year but instead, the song is one cleverly concocted sexual innuendo. It involved a girl named Summer.         

…Now you see?

Finally, in a rather interesting turn of events, while i mused why the phrase “the early bird gets the worm” never featured the early worms point of view (who, rather unfairly, gets eaten) I stumbled upon the fact that the continuation to “the early worm gets the worm” is… “but the second mouse gets the cheese” so it seems every silver lining has a nice dark cloud of despair.

Yeesh…once again with the gloom.

Nevertheless for those who crave the cynicism fret not I'm sure my sardonic alter ego shall return (as he did, ever so briefly, above) to post another long-winded rant on say…how annoying it is that all the cows I've seen aren't the quintessential black and white ones but rather come in all sorts of hues.

Pigs On The Wing

Swine-ness is among us. In a big way. Yeah yeah, you might be thinking old news but hey!, if it wasn’t for old news Larry King wouldn’t be so popular now would he?

So yes, to the point. STOP fussing. I mean seriously, the many precautions and general anal-ness of the whole affair is quite sickening. More people die from the ‘common’ flu that the swiney variety, but just because its this confounded new-fangled flu its got us all on the edge of our seats. Even at Uni, EVERY SINGLE soul that dare set foot on campus must have their temperature scanned by a very bored looking lady. A lady whose sole purpose is to sit the whole day at the gate with her temperature ray gun thing, point it at peoples foreheads and nod. The occasional mask is handed out to those who she deems “worthy” but apart from that quite the mundane existence.

Oh, and lest we forget we have those blessed with the mental capacity of a peanut who wear these masks then hand it to their equally uninitiated friends and quip “heh heh dude…check this out..tis farney” The afore mentioned friend then dons the mask in the name of humor and behold!, mini-piggy germs jump ship. (Or at least that's how it looks in my head). Hygiene is not exactly their strong point.

Just yet another mindless rant I guess.

Time Is Running Out

Silent Scream

Saturday:

Come home after Nandos lunch and watching ‘District 9’ sit down to do Business stats assignment. Damn mainstream concert, turn up Metallica till my door trembles. Work till 2am. Order McDonalds. Watch ‘Whose line – scenes from a hat’. Laugh. work till 4. sleep

Sunday

Wake up at 10. Shower. Down 2 Mugs of coffee. Work till 12. Pack up, go to uni to meet peers and work. Go home at 4 to work some more. Have ‘Linner’ while watching more whose line at 7. Laugh. Back to work till 12 something. Get up and air-bass to Offspring, Tool, RHCP, and Metallica. Back to work from 1 something to 4.30. Sleep

Monday

Wake up at 8 to resume assignments. Skip my lecture to work on my assignment. Work with frenzy till 12. Marketing DONE - 800 words. Shower, power walk to uni. Triumphantly hand in assignment with 7 minutes to spare. Bump in to tutor, discuss assignment

I HAD DONE THE WRONG DAMN ASSIGNMENT. THE DAMN ASSIGNMENTS ON BLACKBOARD WERE NOT UPDATED I WAS EXPECTED TO DO THE ONE ON THE NETWORK DRIVE IN UNI. 800 WORDS FOR NO DAMN REASON.

Vocabulary to put a rapper with Tourette’s syndrome on speed to shame ensues.

Calms down. Goes to lab to work on Statistics assignment. 4.15pm and 1050 words DONE. Hand it in. Walk home with just enough rain to dampen the laptop in my backpack.

Curse.     Blog.

Back to work.

Stain of Mind

What has happened to the world of intelligent lyrics? why is it that today we are forcibly subjected to a world of mediocrity in the music industry? Gone are the songs which left us with something to think about. The songs which spoke of more than relationships and love.

I mean how pathetic is it that all of today's mainstream lyrics have the intellectual depth of a puddle. I was YouTube-ing the other day and checking out some Rush songs and one comment that struck a chord was “Rush makes me think and I hate that!”. Awesome is it not? What have we sunk to? And the majority of today's songs have nothing more to speak of but sex, women and money.

What strikes me as most ironic is that in an age where women are said to be treated with equality and respect, a majority of these songs reduce women to nothing more than a vessel to sate materialistic tendencies. AND women listen to and enjoy this trash.

A pathetic excuse for music is what it is. Mainstream music.

Smoke on the Water

Ok so this is an anti-smoking rant, so for all you smokers feel free to express your opinions but don't pounce on me for speaking my mind.
Actually, correction this is not so much an anti smoking rant but an anti-'certain-type-of-smoker' rant. I speak of none other than those smokers who feel the need to justify this action of theirs. I don't judge those who smoke nor does my opinion of someone change when i find out that they smoke. I am also of the opinion that whatever reason you started smoking is your thing. Its your prerogative.

What just gets on my nerves is when people try and justify it with completely bogus stuff like "no no smoking doesn't really cause cancer" and all that. They go out looking for stuff on the internet proving their stubborn beliefs. It's the internet! As much as I'm in love with it and all, I'm sure if you look hard enough you'll find that there is some weird sect in a remote part of papa new guinea with a very convincing argument on how ATM's are in fact Alien Time Machines. In my honest opinion you have to be some major pansy arse little boy to be naive enough to think that what you find on the internet is all true. In fact don't you think its a bit odd that while YOU believe that smoking is not harmful for health tobacco companies don't have problems with that big warning on their product. That's not exactly what reverse psychology is about if that's what you're thinking. It goes without saying that tobacco companies would have paid the best folk to go down every possible avenue of inquiry to find a way out of that oh-so-subtle warning being slapped onto their packs.Whats more I think its more than just a coincidence that the papers on how smoking isn't bad for you are written by smokers themselves. You might as well have gotten Hannibal Lecter to write a paper on the benefits of cannibalism (Accompanied by a complimentary recipe book for human meat, naturally)

To me, if you're doing something wrong at least muster up a pair and man up to it. How low does your self esteem have to be for you to actually put forth such a flimsy argument and actually believe a word of your own feeble excuse for a justification.
"Cigarette smoking never killed anyone." For my part, that has as much credibility as the "guns don't kill people, people do" argument.

Basically what i'm saying is i have no problems with people smoking and i dont judge those who do, "butt" (sorry, couldn't resist) my problems lie with those who get me all riled up The few that, to make up for their own insecurities envelop themselves in a bubble of deciet based upon the false ideology that smoking is not harmfull for health.

I mean seriously, would you stick your mouth onto a car exhaust and take a nice long wiff? I think not.