Citizen Erased

A challenge has been put on the table. Go one whole day without cracking a single joke. More rather without being humorous. I fear that by agreeing to go along with this sadistic test of my will, I will half way through the day be found in the darkest corner of the room in a fetal position muttering lame knock-knock jokes (Are there any that aren't lame?)
No witty comebacks, no weird faces, no puns, no random bursting into song, no pelvic thrusts (Which, though isn't my thing, I'd like to have the option of.) and worst of all, no sarcasm.

I fear for my sanity

True Men Don't Kill Coyotes

I hate, despise, loathe, detest and abhor stupid forwards. Honestly how naive do you have to be to actually fall for this garbage?
"Forward this to 10 people and you will get a million dollars", "Forward this and your crush will fall for you", "Forward this and the magical cow of the Netherlands shall bestow a castle of silicon upon you"
And people send this!?...What is going through their mind is something simply beyond my comprehension. They must have absolutely the lowest IQ's to think that a mere e-mail will grant them their wishes.
On the other end of the spectrum you have those that are merely out to spread malice. "Tomatoes cause cancer", "cameras cause cancer", "Having a pet cat in December causes cancer" and I know for a fact that people fall for this. My own mother being one of them. Many a time I have had to go online (to my best bud Google) to prove to her how rubbish-y (awesome word eh?) these claims are.

And finally you have the forwards which are pure mush. Pictures of babies, kittens, puppies, birds and all that stuff which have leotard wearing people go "awww". Mails that tell you to be good to your neighbours, be kind to animals, be a friend, blah blah blah... stuff that generally makes me go "Oh thanks!, it’s a good thing you told me to be kind to animals. I was just on my way to liquidize a giraffe"

Sigh, the sheer stupidity of us humans

Space Dementia

Bucket shaped potatoes shall overcome their whipped cream shackles and rise to power. 

Long live the chipmunk shaped cloud!

Be All, End All

Its all over.

The sheer awesomeness of fudgulation has come to its sad demise. Leaving, in its wake, coffee-less mornings, early classes and worst of all, assignments.

How I shall miss the many hours of doing absolutely nothing, the waking up at 2 pm Malaysian time instead of 3 am Dubai time. The fact that there was always something to munch on even in the wee hours of the morn. Much unlike here where, past 10 pm its Mc Donald's or bust.

More importantly, Dubai aka 'home' with all its supreme kick arseness is 5,530 kilometres away.

My one month holiday has met its match. The start of uni.

Have Cool, Will Travel

Travelling rocks. 

Not just the flying chunk of metal that appears to have been designed for the sole purpose of freezing your extremities off, but the fact that it never gets old. That coming from a person who has, for the past 19 years flown at least twice a year, is saying something. From the little things like seeing Dubai lit up from metres up in the sky (which by the way looks kicks arse), to having the honour of sitting next to a German man who, from the vigour in which he was picking his nose, seemed to have lost something up there. (A stray thought perhaps?) And then of course you have the sheer awesomeness of the generic headphones which work in both ears. Just not at the same time, meaning by the end of the flight you're only deaf in one ear.

We also have the scrumptious airline food, which with all its mediocre ingredients and its mass produced flavour makes for a pretty tiny meal. A tiny meal served with tiny water, tiny fruit bowls and tiny utensils. For, we all know that big utensils are what cause a majority of the terrorist attacks. 

The pilot then takes the time to tell us little tidbits of what he thinks we care about. "We are now flying at an altitude of 38,560 metres." for instance. At which point I was hoping some little be speckled nerdy bloke would jump up and scream "WHAT!!, by now we should be at least 38,630 metres up!" but no such bloke appeared. "The temperature outside is -35 degrees Celsius." which of course tells one that, should you choose to step out onto the patio of this airbus A330, a light jacket simply won't do. We then have the "cruising" speed. A leisurely 700 Km/h. "Awesome!, screw the Bugatti Veyron, I'm getting me one of those air plane thingies".

All this being said i still love travelling. The amazing places, the kick arse picture opportunities, the weird people you encounter, and of course, the free airport Wi-Fi.