The Sound of Silence

An open letter to the person who stole my iPod.

I also have a blue version of the grey iPod sock that you took with it. They don’t really like to be apart for long periods of time. Get in touch. I’ll gladly hand it to you.

P.S. Hope you like my taste in music.

Liberate

Stumbled upon this while NOT studying for my exams and had to share it.
It might be long but give it a read.

Questions and Answers about Foreign Policy (and the U.S. Invasion of Iraq)

Q:Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A:Because they had weapons of mass destruction.
Q:But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A:That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.
Q:And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A:Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.
Q:But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A:That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.
Q:Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A:To use them in a war, silly.
Q:I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A:Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.
Q:That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?
A:It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.
Q:I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A:Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.
Q:And what was that?
A:Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.
Q:Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A:Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.
Q:Kind of like what they do in China?
A:Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.
Q:So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A:Right.
Q:Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A:For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.
Q:Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A:I told you, China is different.
Q:What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A:Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.
Q:Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A:No, just Cuban Communists are bad.
Q:How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A:Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.
Q:Like in Iraq?
A:Exactly.
Q:And like in China, too?
A:I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.
Q:How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A:Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.
Q:But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A:Don't be a smart-ass.
Q:I didn't think I was being one.
A:Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.
Q:Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A:I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.
Q:What's a military coup?
A:That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.
Q:Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A:You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.
Q:Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A:I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.
Q:Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A:Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.
Q:Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A:Because of what they did to us on September 11th.
Q:What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A:Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings in New York and Washington, killing 3,000 innocent people.
Q:So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A:Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.
Q:Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
A:Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.
Q:Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A:Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.
Q:Fighting drugs?
A:Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.
Q:How did they do such a good job?
A:Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.
Q:So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
A:Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.
Q:Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A:That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.
Q:Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A:No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.
Q:What's the difference?
A:The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.
Q:It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A:Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.
Q:But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
A:Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.
Q:Who trained them?
A:A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.
Q:Was he from Afghanistan?
A:Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.
Q:I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A:Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.
Q:Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
A:There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.
Q:So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?
A:Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.
Q:So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A:Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.
Q:Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
A:No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.
Q:But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A:Well, yeah. For a while.
Q:Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A:Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.
Q:Why did that make him our friend?
A:Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.
Q:Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A:Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.
Q:So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A:Most of the time, yes.
Q:And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A:Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.
Q:Why?
A:Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless unAmerican Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?
Q:I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A:Yes.
Q:But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A:Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.
Q:So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A:Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.
Q:Good night, Daddy.


From: http://tinyurl.com/yk76m7p

Turn The Page

So it’s been a while since my last post. Work has kept me pretty busy and the flow of creative juices has been diverted elsewhere (for some reason that came out a rather bit more messy than intended). All that being by-the-by it has been brought to my attention that most of my posts revolve around rants and/or have rather pessimistic undertones.

Undertones?…bah! who am i kidding? This blog has “half empty” written all over it. In some cases the existence of the glass itself is in question.

Either way, we reach my point. an overhaul is in the works. maybe I'll adopt a more optimistic approach. The brutality of the real world leaves no room for idealism. So, to usher in the new age i present to you:

Awesome how it’s in keeping with the whole ‘chicken’ theme ‘innit?

apart from that, i have, in an effort to prove to a friend that there is no word in the English language that rhymes with ‘orange’, discovered that, ironically, there is no rhyme for the word ‘music’.

Also that timeless classic “Summer of ‘69” by Bryan Adams does not tell of a particular season of a particular year but instead, the song is one cleverly concocted sexual innuendo. It involved a girl named Summer.         

…Now you see?

Finally, in a rather interesting turn of events, while i mused why the phrase “the early bird gets the worm” never featured the early worms point of view (who, rather unfairly, gets eaten) I stumbled upon the fact that the continuation to “the early worm gets the worm” is… “but the second mouse gets the cheese” so it seems every silver lining has a nice dark cloud of despair.

Yeesh…once again with the gloom.

Nevertheless for those who crave the cynicism fret not I'm sure my sardonic alter ego shall return (as he did, ever so briefly, above) to post another long-winded rant on say…how annoying it is that all the cows I've seen aren't the quintessential black and white ones but rather come in all sorts of hues.

Pigs On The Wing

Swine-ness is among us. In a big way. Yeah yeah, you might be thinking old news but hey!, if it wasn’t for old news Larry King wouldn’t be so popular now would he?

So yes, to the point. STOP fussing. I mean seriously, the many precautions and general anal-ness of the whole affair is quite sickening. More people die from the ‘common’ flu that the swiney variety, but just because its this confounded new-fangled flu its got us all on the edge of our seats. Even at Uni, EVERY SINGLE soul that dare set foot on campus must have their temperature scanned by a very bored looking lady. A lady whose sole purpose is to sit the whole day at the gate with her temperature ray gun thing, point it at peoples foreheads and nod. The occasional mask is handed out to those who she deems “worthy” but apart from that quite the mundane existence.

Oh, and lest we forget we have those blessed with the mental capacity of a peanut who wear these masks then hand it to their equally uninitiated friends and quip “heh heh dude…check this out..tis farney” The afore mentioned friend then dons the mask in the name of humor and behold!, mini-piggy germs jump ship. (Or at least that's how it looks in my head). Hygiene is not exactly their strong point.

Just yet another mindless rant I guess.

Time Is Running Out

Silent Scream

Saturday:

Come home after Nandos lunch and watching ‘District 9’ sit down to do Business stats assignment. Damn mainstream concert, turn up Metallica till my door trembles. Work till 2am. Order McDonalds. Watch ‘Whose line – scenes from a hat’. Laugh. work till 4. sleep

Sunday

Wake up at 10. Shower. Down 2 Mugs of coffee. Work till 12. Pack up, go to uni to meet peers and work. Go home at 4 to work some more. Have ‘Linner’ while watching more whose line at 7. Laugh. Back to work till 12 something. Get up and air-bass to Offspring, Tool, RHCP, and Metallica. Back to work from 1 something to 4.30. Sleep

Monday

Wake up at 8 to resume assignments. Skip my lecture to work on my assignment. Work with frenzy till 12. Marketing DONE - 800 words. Shower, power walk to uni. Triumphantly hand in assignment with 7 minutes to spare. Bump in to tutor, discuss assignment

I HAD DONE THE WRONG DAMN ASSIGNMENT. THE DAMN ASSIGNMENTS ON BLACKBOARD WERE NOT UPDATED I WAS EXPECTED TO DO THE ONE ON THE NETWORK DRIVE IN UNI. 800 WORDS FOR NO DAMN REASON.

Vocabulary to put a rapper with Tourette’s syndrome on speed to shame ensues.

Calms down. Goes to lab to work on Statistics assignment. 4.15pm and 1050 words DONE. Hand it in. Walk home with just enough rain to dampen the laptop in my backpack.

Curse.     Blog.

Back to work.

Stain of Mind

What has happened to the world of intelligent lyrics? why is it that today we are forcibly subjected to a world of mediocrity in the music industry? Gone are the songs which left us with something to think about. The songs which spoke of more than relationships and love.

I mean how pathetic is it that all of today's mainstream lyrics have the intellectual depth of a puddle. I was YouTube-ing the other day and checking out some Rush songs and one comment that struck a chord was “Rush makes me think and I hate that!”. Awesome is it not? What have we sunk to? And the majority of today's songs have nothing more to speak of but sex, women and money.

What strikes me as most ironic is that in an age where women are said to be treated with equality and respect, a majority of these songs reduce women to nothing more than a vessel to sate materialistic tendencies. AND women listen to and enjoy this trash.

A pathetic excuse for music is what it is. Mainstream music.

Smoke on the Water

Ok so this is an anti-smoking rant, so for all you smokers feel free to express your opinions but don't pounce on me for speaking my mind.
Actually, correction this is not so much an anti smoking rant but an anti-'certain-type-of-smoker' rant. I speak of none other than those smokers who feel the need to justify this action of theirs. I don't judge those who smoke nor does my opinion of someone change when i find out that they smoke. I am also of the opinion that whatever reason you started smoking is your thing. Its your prerogative.

What just gets on my nerves is when people try and justify it with completely bogus stuff like "no no smoking doesn't really cause cancer" and all that. They go out looking for stuff on the internet proving their stubborn beliefs. It's the internet! As much as I'm in love with it and all, I'm sure if you look hard enough you'll find that there is some weird sect in a remote part of papa new guinea with a very convincing argument on how ATM's are in fact Alien Time Machines. In my honest opinion you have to be some major pansy arse little boy to be naive enough to think that what you find on the internet is all true. In fact don't you think its a bit odd that while YOU believe that smoking is not harmful for health tobacco companies don't have problems with that big warning on their product. That's not exactly what reverse psychology is about if that's what you're thinking. It goes without saying that tobacco companies would have paid the best folk to go down every possible avenue of inquiry to find a way out of that oh-so-subtle warning being slapped onto their packs.Whats more I think its more than just a coincidence that the papers on how smoking isn't bad for you are written by smokers themselves. You might as well have gotten Hannibal Lecter to write a paper on the benefits of cannibalism (Accompanied by a complimentary recipe book for human meat, naturally)

To me, if you're doing something wrong at least muster up a pair and man up to it. How low does your self esteem have to be for you to actually put forth such a flimsy argument and actually believe a word of your own feeble excuse for a justification.
"Cigarette smoking never killed anyone." For my part, that has as much credibility as the "guns don't kill people, people do" argument.

Basically what i'm saying is i have no problems with people smoking and i dont judge those who do, "butt" (sorry, couldn't resist) my problems lie with those who get me all riled up The few that, to make up for their own insecurities envelop themselves in a bubble of deciet based upon the false ideology that smoking is not harmfull for health.

I mean seriously, would you stick your mouth onto a car exhaust and take a nice long wiff? I think not.

The Rockafeller Skank

So I was doing some err...watchemacallit...thinking the other day. And I realized an interesting realization.(See how I framed that sentence? Fascinating, no?)

We (humans that is) do some pretty peculiar things.

like for instance looking up when it drizzles...OK, so now there are two things.
Firstly why do people look up? In my head its one of two things. Either you are perplexed with this radical new concept of water from the skies or you are trying to figure out if it is going to rain harder which leads me to my second point.
My second point: You're bound to get a drop in your eye when you look up. After which you are going to curse the sky and the gods above. Cursing the gods will then lead you to an untimely death and a stint in the hell-hole named (funnily enough) 'Hell'. Hell is, of course, said to be quite 'lame'.

Then we have clapping. The action itself is pretty barbaric when you think about it. I mean look at it. The banging of hands in support of something? In my head that leads to an image of a caveman (Curiously enough named 'Rob') jumping up and down while banging his hands together in glee at the sight of his mate, (lets call him 'Thor') bringing in his freshly caught mammoth. I dunno. This is just me thinking out loud or whatever. But I mean clapping is 'sooo last millenia' if you ask me.

Oh, and lets not forget all those scientific studies out there. I'm referring to of course the most daft ones. Now to prove my point while trying to appear well informed I did a quick spot of research. Research which led me to answers to age old queries. Queries such as;
'What is The effect of country music on suicide',
'Are chickens bias towards attractive people',
'What are The Possible Functions and Phylogenetic Significance of Frogs Odorous Secretions'
and my personal favourite,
'What is the pressure produced by a penguin poo-ing' where educated but certainly very bored Victor Breno of International University, Bremen, and Jozsef Gal of Lorand Eotvos University, Hungary, used the basic principles of physics to calculate the pressure that builds up inside a penguin.
I penguin-shit you not. These are real studies conducted by 'scientists' as my friend google showed me at this site and this one.
Hah! and you thought i was bluffing!

Bungee Jumping! I mean what the hell is that about!? I really don't know how someone came up with that idea.

Inventor dude A:"hmm...dude...you know i just realised something. every time i jump off a bridge, i fall into the water"
Inventor dude B: "yea dude...I'm like totally sick of that" *puffs on his happy stick*
Inventor dude A: "OK here's the deal...*puffs*...you take this *hands big rubber band chain* and jump off that there bridge.
Inventor dude B: *Jumps* "AAAaaaahh... " *splash*
Inventor dude A: "hmm..." *takes a long drag* "needs more rubber bands."

So yea... we are pretty bizarre. I mean what other being invents stuff, only to label them cancerous a few weeks later, Parachutes off planes for entertainments sake and writes about how weird their species is?

Cotton Eyed Joe

Why the best ideas come from late night conversations.

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: Trying to get GTA IV to run on Vista is like trying to get an elephant to ride a bicycle with no chain

Nabil says: wow...that is a feat

Nabil says: ok,lets make a deal. if i make it run, you do the elephant thing

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: sounds good. my friend franko is in the zoo, I'm sure he'll be delighted to have that as an act

Nabil says: wait..is this franko valdez?

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: he claims to be that

Nabil says: aww man me and him go wayyy back

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: wait, is he bald, shifty eyes and always checks your pockets for potatoes?

Nabil says: ohh no no

Nabil says: sorry wrong man. im talkin full head of hair, cant seem to stop tap dancing with the chipmunk on his shoulder franko

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: wait, is this chipmunk's name benny?

Nabil says: yeap

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: fuck, I know that guy. he's known as bobby partini around here. prolly cause the feds are after him

Nabil says: ahh yea i heard about that

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: he sells cigarettes and alcohol to underage kids over here at the popcorn stall

Nabil says: some say he killed a ferret with just ONE of his molar teeth

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: holy pancake! that would explain the scar all over his ear

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: Or is that from what he calls the sandwich incident?

Nabil says: i dont know but everytime i ask him about it he flings poo in my general direction

Nabil says: wait, tell me about the sandwich incident..is that the one with the subway guy who lost the weight?

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: I don't know much about the sandwich incident either

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: all I know through hypnosis is that it involved a peanut, a katana he named 'jeff,' and a note with his ex-girlfriend's phone number. the real mystery is

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: how the fuck did that guy get a girlfriend in the first place

Nabil says: well ive heard he is quite the charmer. i mean they say he had a fling with ms.Monroe back in the day

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: that's probably what that eyepatch in his trunk is for

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: I mean, any guy's bound to look sexy in a designer label eyepatch

Nabil says: oh for sure

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: I got one from Gucci the other day though the aerodynamic sport edition eyepatch from adidas was quite fancy

Nabil says: i was under the impression that the sports edition one was through pre-order only

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: it was but I bribed the manager with an antique bottle of amaretto

Nabil says: which year?

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: 1618.

Nabil says: oh those are exquisite indeed

Nabil says: prefer those from 1596 though

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: I know, that year has a particular tang, but are really flipping expensive

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says:

apparently this wine connoisseur told me that year they had a particularly good harvest because some guy watered his crop with mountain dew instead of water

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: another mystery was how in blooming hell did they get mountain dew back then

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: the only evidence that could possibly hint as to how they got MD back there was a crowbar, a thick pair of black-rimmed glasses, and an orange suit thing with a lambda logo on it

Nabil says: well, at least they got some evidence

Nabil says: last week, there was an incident where a crop circle was made in the shape of barrack obamas bottom. they didnt even kno it was his bottom until Condi Rice exclaimed it at the first press conference

Nabil says: i believe the obamas are in counseling now

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says:I don't know what's more amusing

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says:that condi knew it was obama's bottom or that obama's bottom has a tattoo of 'LOVE RIDE'

Nabil says: well apparently he was quite the ruffian back in his days in indonesia

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: he was in indonesia?

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: did he spark the vegetable movement's revolution over there?

Nabil says:yeap, protesting over tomatoes position as what he said was "merely" a fruits

Nabil says: he was lobbying for joint fruit/vegetable status

Nabil says: it was the beginning of his political career

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: whoa! that's one heck of a way to begin a political career

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: I always thought the vegetable movement was begun by janis joplin being drunk at a concert and accidentally knocking over the mic, so she began singing with a corn cob instead and somehow the corn cob still amplified her voice

Nabil says: analysts say that each peice of corn, was infact a bluetooth transmitter, smuggled there by the first wave of time travelers as a gag

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: so the speakers must've has bluetooth receivers attached to them as well?

Nabil says: oh yes

Nabil says: weirdly though, all evidence was cleared

Nabil says: the only reason they found this much was janis insisted on being buried with what they called "bob the magic cob"

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: the interesting thing is, when you play her live rendition of Work Me Lord in reverse, boost the tempo, increase the key by two, and lower the bass by juuust a bit

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: you hear the secrets of the illuminati, UFOs, access codes to the CIA mainframe, and where Elvis really is hiding

Nabil says: sigh, it truly is disgusting how that first wave of time travellers ruined a lot for us common folk

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: yeah, now everything's so boring

Nabil says: its because of them that the time travellers act had to be put in place

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: a walkthrough came out for serious sam 6 and plans for its development haven't even been announced yet

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: damn time travellers

Nabil says: well one good thing is we know that microsoft wont last longer than windows 8. which is essentially 2011

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says:well, yeah,that's a comforting thought

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: linus torvalds becomes leader of the world and linux ends up being installed on every phone, PDA, computer, console, and iPod in existence

Nabil says: yea but it sucks that they change the name from ipod to 'lipod'

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: I know, lipod is weird

Nabil says: yea well it sure beats the nike+ipod collaboration, i mean people had to actually..*work out*

Nabil says: i mean can you IMAGINE ...what a preposterous thought

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: that deal plummeted both shares by over thirty one percent. warren buffet lost everything he had in share trading

Nabil says: well, i hear linux's penguin army were willing to give him a post, but he turned it down

Nabil says: claiming he was not to be outdone by penguins

Nabil says: pfft...what little he knew eh

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: what little he knew indeed

Wherein Lies Continue

Faces.

That’s what we are. We are neither personalities nor souls. We are not individuals of various schools of thought or groups of lost beings. We are... just faces.

We are the faces we wear. We are just as superficial, we are just as cold and we are just as heartless.

On a daily basis we don these visages. These faces, worn as though they were merely another item of apparel. Kept on a shelf, hung from a hook or strewn across the messiest of rooms. Each waiting till they hear their call.

Work face, play face, hi-nice-to-meet-you-face, yes-tap-dancing-should-be-revived-face.

Do we mean what we say? Not in the least. We have these faces just to bluff our way through yet another day of fallacies. We are too cowardly for honesty, too fearful for candour, too wary of what the side effects of sincerity may be. When have we felt that criticism would trump the most deceitful of compliments?

Even with the closest of our friends we are wary of the words we utter. Worried more about how the person in question would react to the truth than the results of being caught in the act of insincerity. Truth, it seems, has been lost in this web of deceit we have spun around ourselves. A web that, not only gives the illusion of protection from the harsh realities of the world out there, but also prevents us from getting truly close to anyone. A web that suffocates our souls.

Society deems politicians to be creatures of deceit.

We are all politicians. We all are fighting for that vote.

Red Button. Blue Button.

Democrat. Republican.

Friend. Enemy.

How are we any different?

Why has honesty been reduced to nothing more than a last resort?

snuffle.

apparently ms iman azman thinks that i am snuffleuphagus. because i always look stoned and i have long eyelashes. ms iman azman is always right. 

A Gunshot To The Head Of Trepidation

It truly is a pity that we can’t see ourselves from others perspectives.

It would save us a lot of time, heartache and effort. It would deter us from living under this fallacy, this charade of an existence.

The fact of the matter is that with human perspectives so volatile and relationships so finicky, the slightest jolt can send ripples that no soul should have to endure.

The line between friend and acquaintance is of too low a gauge to be toyed with. Yet we continue to do so. Testing the boundaries. Pushing ourselves until the line has been played with for far too long. Torn apart in mere moments. Trust is destroyed and reputations tarnished. We are left. Picking up the pieces. Wondering what went wrong. When through it all we never feared the worst. We never wondered 'what if'. Optimism. But at what cost? 

Is it all worth it? Is the effort taken to rebuild such fragile relationships in vain? While the repercussions may continue to reverberate, must they be a bane of any coexistence that will come to follow? The end question is should we change to fit into the shoes others feel we look best in? Is that person worth the change?  

Is ANYBODY worth it?

Mulling these over is no simple task. Answering them, even harder. 

Why must society be so fragile?

Man is a social creature they say. I beg to differ.

Existentialist? No.

We are antisocial at best.

It is only when you bend to clear up the shards of the mirror in which you once saw your reflection and see yourself in its cracks do you realise the true nature of what you once held in such high esteem.

After all, a clown without his face-paint is just a poorly dressed fool in big shoes.

Skeletons of Society

Racism, according to our dear friends at merriam-webster, is “A belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race”. But in a modern society such as ours can racism be defined merely by this one sentence or are there many factors which underlie the modern individuals perspective towards those of a different race, colour or creed? Are we bound by the social stereotypes we ourselves have created?

I for one believe that everyone is racist. Even if not blatantly racist, the average person is more often than not susceptible to subconscious prejudice. and it is this vulnerability to our subconscious that has made racism socially accepted. It has made this subtle variant of racism more resilient and difficult to counteract. True, political correctness plays a huge part for those in the public eye but in everyday dealings we cant help but discriminate. Whether we are distinguished by our skin colour, accent or passport, whoever meets us still finds the need to categorize us.

While overt prejudice to those of a different race may be virtually non-existent in today's society, subtle prejudices such as those which the bearer himself is unaware of is definitely alive. From a shop-keeper spending more time tending to a caucasian customer rather than an equally interested 'brown' or 'yellow' customer, to a taxi driver preferring to pick up only those fares he considers to be 'less risky'. A judgement made purely on appearance alone.

Yet in today's society it seems that regardless of the stigma surrounding racism it has also become, on some levels, socially acceptable to ridicule other races on a public forum. I mean take a look at the iconic Russel Peters. Many a time I myself have quoted his lines. Were it not for his racist but humorous remarks he would never have achieved the fame he basks in now. The multicultural quality of modern societies cannot be denied and we belong to a variety of nations and cultures, but does it, on the long run, make sense to segregate our society based on the hypothesis that each individual should be assigned a faction.

I too am racist. I don't deny it. And many a time I have been judged based on appearances. But the question posed here is not who but why. why do we humans, as a race, feel the need to be so shallow. why is it that we live in a world, and i quote, "Where black is black, and white is white, and only the blind can truly see."

Opium of the People

It seems that everywhere you go you hear people complaining about the new facebook layout. It just got me thinking. How many of us are on that "social networking site"? 175 million it turns out. that's a hell of a lot of people banding together to "socialize". And what do the majority of these people do? 

Honestly, by the looks of it all people do is take stupid quiz after another, Tag pictures of cartoon thingies as people, tag people to do things like list silly facts or their itunes playlist, play with applications like that damn zombie thing, and add friends. Apparently this is what socializing is today. 

Gone are the days where one would call or even text for someones birthday. Actually forget that, now one doesn't need to remember someones birthday. Facebook is kind enough to tell us that a birthday is approaching (Would you like to send them a free gift?).

True its a great leap forward towards making the world a smaller place and all that jazz but in making the world a smaller place we have subconsciously, it seems, made our circles of true friends even smaller. 

I say true friends because unlike in the Internet world where you can have a gajabillion friends on friendster, facebook, myspace. In the real world, the one that many actually see less of, theres a very fine but distinct line separating ones friends from acquaintances. Sure you have 800 facebook friends but a click on your part and one on his/her part isn't really all that hard. I mean seriously. Think. Of all those in your friend list, how many have you socialised with in the past month?

True I'm a member of facebook. I too am part of this social phenomenon. But lets face it, in today's day and age the question "Whats your email address?" or "Whats your number?" is oft replaced with a simple "Your on facebook yea? Ahh ok, ill find you then" and if you say "No I'm not on facebook" the questioners face will, without fail, distort itself beyond recognition leaving you looking at that hideous mass of mush while waiting for the inevitable

"What?!...but...er..why?"

Forget to Remember

Whoo boy....Sitting in front of this laptop for the sole purpose of blogging sure is a daunting task. I mean its not like i can just type any damn thing and expect it to fly well.. but i shall.

couple of things going through my mind:

The war in sri lanka. Its been going on since 1983. i think both sides need to take a seat at their local starbucks and sort things out.

Sandstorm in Saudi and Kuwait. Darude popped into my head.

I hate malaysian papers. The extent of their international news is that paris hiltons dog farted or summat.

We dont need more four door cars. Porsche, Lamborghini and Aston. Butt out.

The X6 DOES look like a damn Ssang Yong Actyon. Dont you Deny it.

A certain someone needs to visit Sunway more often.

"Military intelligence, two words combined that can't make sense" - Megadeth: Hangar 18

Cucumbers serve no purpose in most meals other than to sit there and act like theyre decorative.

I hate punctuation.

Shotguns are fun.

Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Blood Brothers

The many comebacks and put-downs have finally come back to haunt me. My two closest friends have, after years of torment decided to act to end the relentless dissing i have inflicted upon their puny little selves. Their plan revolves around the "united we stand" principle and so they have, effectively, joined forces. 

Their 'pact' involves them never siding with me when another member is insulted as well as joining forces in some pathetic effort to put me down. So desperate are these foolish children that they have even gone to the extent of 'recruiting' friends from my other circles of friends. Succeeding on another four occasions. The headcount as of now in the 'Unite Against Nabil' scheme stands at 6 people.

Kudos to them i say. This just gives me more subjects to work on my material with.

Citizen Erased

A challenge has been put on the table. Go one whole day without cracking a single joke. More rather without being humorous. I fear that by agreeing to go along with this sadistic test of my will, I will half way through the day be found in the darkest corner of the room in a fetal position muttering lame knock-knock jokes (Are there any that aren't lame?)
No witty comebacks, no weird faces, no puns, no random bursting into song, no pelvic thrusts (Which, though isn't my thing, I'd like to have the option of.) and worst of all, no sarcasm.

I fear for my sanity

True Men Don't Kill Coyotes

I hate, despise, loathe, detest and abhor stupid forwards. Honestly how naive do you have to be to actually fall for this garbage?
"Forward this to 10 people and you will get a million dollars", "Forward this and your crush will fall for you", "Forward this and the magical cow of the Netherlands shall bestow a castle of silicon upon you"
And people send this!?...What is going through their mind is something simply beyond my comprehension. They must have absolutely the lowest IQ's to think that a mere e-mail will grant them their wishes.
On the other end of the spectrum you have those that are merely out to spread malice. "Tomatoes cause cancer", "cameras cause cancer", "Having a pet cat in December causes cancer" and I know for a fact that people fall for this. My own mother being one of them. Many a time I have had to go online (to my best bud Google) to prove to her how rubbish-y (awesome word eh?) these claims are.

And finally you have the forwards which are pure mush. Pictures of babies, kittens, puppies, birds and all that stuff which have leotard wearing people go "awww". Mails that tell you to be good to your neighbours, be kind to animals, be a friend, blah blah blah... stuff that generally makes me go "Oh thanks!, it’s a good thing you told me to be kind to animals. I was just on my way to liquidize a giraffe"

Sigh, the sheer stupidity of us humans

Space Dementia

Bucket shaped potatoes shall overcome their whipped cream shackles and rise to power. 

Long live the chipmunk shaped cloud!

Be All, End All

Its all over.

The sheer awesomeness of fudgulation has come to its sad demise. Leaving, in its wake, coffee-less mornings, early classes and worst of all, assignments.

How I shall miss the many hours of doing absolutely nothing, the waking up at 2 pm Malaysian time instead of 3 am Dubai time. The fact that there was always something to munch on even in the wee hours of the morn. Much unlike here where, past 10 pm its Mc Donald's or bust.

More importantly, Dubai aka 'home' with all its supreme kick arseness is 5,530 kilometres away.

My one month holiday has met its match. The start of uni.

Have Cool, Will Travel

Travelling rocks. 

Not just the flying chunk of metal that appears to have been designed for the sole purpose of freezing your extremities off, but the fact that it never gets old. That coming from a person who has, for the past 19 years flown at least twice a year, is saying something. From the little things like seeing Dubai lit up from metres up in the sky (which by the way looks kicks arse), to having the honour of sitting next to a German man who, from the vigour in which he was picking his nose, seemed to have lost something up there. (A stray thought perhaps?) And then of course you have the sheer awesomeness of the generic headphones which work in both ears. Just not at the same time, meaning by the end of the flight you're only deaf in one ear.

We also have the scrumptious airline food, which with all its mediocre ingredients and its mass produced flavour makes for a pretty tiny meal. A tiny meal served with tiny water, tiny fruit bowls and tiny utensils. For, we all know that big utensils are what cause a majority of the terrorist attacks. 

The pilot then takes the time to tell us little tidbits of what he thinks we care about. "We are now flying at an altitude of 38,560 metres." for instance. At which point I was hoping some little be speckled nerdy bloke would jump up and scream "WHAT!!, by now we should be at least 38,630 metres up!" but no such bloke appeared. "The temperature outside is -35 degrees Celsius." which of course tells one that, should you choose to step out onto the patio of this airbus A330, a light jacket simply won't do. We then have the "cruising" speed. A leisurely 700 Km/h. "Awesome!, screw the Bugatti Veyron, I'm getting me one of those air plane thingies".

All this being said i still love travelling. The amazing places, the kick arse picture opportunities, the weird people you encounter, and of course, the free airport Wi-Fi.