Cotton Eyed Joe

Why the best ideas come from late night conversations.

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: Trying to get GTA IV to run on Vista is like trying to get an elephant to ride a bicycle with no chain

Nabil says: wow...that is a feat

Nabil says: ok,lets make a deal. if i make it run, you do the elephant thing

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: sounds good. my friend franko is in the zoo, I'm sure he'll be delighted to have that as an act

Nabil says: wait..is this franko valdez?

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: he claims to be that

Nabil says: aww man me and him go wayyy back

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: wait, is he bald, shifty eyes and always checks your pockets for potatoes?

Nabil says: ohh no no

Nabil says: sorry wrong man. im talkin full head of hair, cant seem to stop tap dancing with the chipmunk on his shoulder franko

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: wait, is this chipmunk's name benny?

Nabil says: yeap

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: fuck, I know that guy. he's known as bobby partini around here. prolly cause the feds are after him

Nabil says: ahh yea i heard about that

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: he sells cigarettes and alcohol to underage kids over here at the popcorn stall

Nabil says: some say he killed a ferret with just ONE of his molar teeth

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: holy pancake! that would explain the scar all over his ear

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: Or is that from what he calls the sandwich incident?

Nabil says: i dont know but everytime i ask him about it he flings poo in my general direction

Nabil says: wait, tell me about the sandwich incident..is that the one with the subway guy who lost the weight?

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: I don't know much about the sandwich incident either

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: all I know through hypnosis is that it involved a peanut, a katana he named 'jeff,' and a note with his ex-girlfriend's phone number. the real mystery is

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: how the fuck did that guy get a girlfriend in the first place

Nabil says: well ive heard he is quite the charmer. i mean they say he had a fling with ms.Monroe back in the day

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: that's probably what that eyepatch in his trunk is for

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: I mean, any guy's bound to look sexy in a designer label eyepatch

Nabil says: oh for sure

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: I got one from Gucci the other day though the aerodynamic sport edition eyepatch from adidas was quite fancy

Nabil says: i was under the impression that the sports edition one was through pre-order only

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: it was but I bribed the manager with an antique bottle of amaretto

Nabil says: which year?

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: 1618.

Nabil says: oh those are exquisite indeed

Nabil says: prefer those from 1596 though

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: I know, that year has a particular tang, but are really flipping expensive

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says:

apparently this wine connoisseur told me that year they had a particularly good harvest because some guy watered his crop with mountain dew instead of water

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: another mystery was how in blooming hell did they get mountain dew back then

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: the only evidence that could possibly hint as to how they got MD back there was a crowbar, a thick pair of black-rimmed glasses, and an orange suit thing with a lambda logo on it

Nabil says: well, at least they got some evidence

Nabil says: last week, there was an incident where a crop circle was made in the shape of barrack obamas bottom. they didnt even kno it was his bottom until Condi Rice exclaimed it at the first press conference

Nabil says: i believe the obamas are in counseling now

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says:I don't know what's more amusing

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says:that condi knew it was obama's bottom or that obama's bottom has a tattoo of 'LOVE RIDE'

Nabil says: well apparently he was quite the ruffian back in his days in indonesia

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: he was in indonesia?

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: did he spark the vegetable movement's revolution over there?

Nabil says:yeap, protesting over tomatoes position as what he said was "merely" a fruits

Nabil says: he was lobbying for joint fruit/vegetable status

Nabil says: it was the beginning of his political career

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: whoa! that's one heck of a way to begin a political career

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: I always thought the vegetable movement was begun by janis joplin being drunk at a concert and accidentally knocking over the mic, so she began singing with a corn cob instead and somehow the corn cob still amplified her voice

Nabil says: analysts say that each peice of corn, was infact a bluetooth transmitter, smuggled there by the first wave of time travelers as a gag

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: so the speakers must've has bluetooth receivers attached to them as well?

Nabil says: oh yes

Nabil says: weirdly though, all evidence was cleared

Nabil says: the only reason they found this much was janis insisted on being buried with what they called "bob the magic cob"

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: the interesting thing is, when you play her live rendition of Work Me Lord in reverse, boost the tempo, increase the key by two, and lower the bass by juuust a bit

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: you hear the secrets of the illuminati, UFOs, access codes to the CIA mainframe, and where Elvis really is hiding

Nabil says: sigh, it truly is disgusting how that first wave of time travellers ruined a lot for us common folk

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: yeah, now everything's so boring

Nabil says: its because of them that the time travellers act had to be put in place

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: a walkthrough came out for serious sam 6 and plans for its development haven't even been announced yet

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: damn time travellers

Nabil says: well one good thing is we know that microsoft wont last longer than windows 8. which is essentially 2011

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says:well, yeah,that's a comforting thought

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: linus torvalds becomes leader of the world and linux ends up being installed on every phone, PDA, computer, console, and iPod in existence

Nabil says: yea but it sucks that they change the name from ipod to 'lipod'

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: I know, lipod is weird

Nabil says: yea well it sure beats the nike+ipod collaboration, i mean people had to actually..*work out*

Nabil says: i mean can you IMAGINE ...what a preposterous thought

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: that deal plummeted both shares by over thirty one percent. warren buffet lost everything he had in share trading

Nabil says: well, i hear linux's penguin army were willing to give him a post, but he turned it down

Nabil says: claiming he was not to be outdone by penguins

Nabil says: pfft...what little he knew eh

[The Kleptocracy] - DJ Admiral says: what little he knew indeed